vonsi
all in good time.
take a big breath and relax, you want to much, now there is nothing bad in wanting, but when you want to much you focus on your wanting and not on being open and receptive. it might also that you are expecting some kind of form your guide to be in and it might come in a very different form or shape, it might be without any shape, and with no specific name.
you can try these things as well: say, even out laud, i'm here and ready to meet you, my guide whenever you are ready to meet me. and just let go, know in your hearth that he or she will come, on the right time.
and you may form a different kind of bond, not while meditating, but with messages: have a question: ask your guides for advice regarding something in your life, or ask your guides for some kind of guidance on whatever, just simple say, i turn to you my guides that come from love and light to help me or send me a message regarding this or that, you can use your own words but something like this. and be open, the message can come in so many ways, a song you hear on the radio, something you see on the T.V, news paper, on the internet, even conversation 2 people are having near you, it can be a book or a page in a book, it can be something you will see, maybe you hear something in your head? someone might come and tell you something, there are so many options and ways for the message to come, but you need to be open to it and trust you will get it. you can form a bond this way as well, together with your meditations or without them. as you like.
right now, you need to learn to be open, and to trust.
something about trust, sometimes you will get a message but it will make no sense to you or your critical logical side will ignore that as meaningless, and you will miss the whole thing. example: lets say you asked for something and all you got is a very strong feeling of pink. now what with this pink? you don't know, so you might tell yourself, it is only your brain playing tricks on you, but when you learn to trust, you take the pink as a very deep meaningful message and you do something about it, you put on a pink shirt, maybe you buy a pink rose, you think pink the whole day, looking for things with pink or even spend time thinking what pink means to you..and so on. very often you will find out that you get your answer, and believe me when you trust amazing things happen.
but also, especially on the beginning, trust is something that must be created and sometimes the simple fact that you didn't dismissed a message because it didn't make sense to you, but actually you do something about it, is the idea behind the message and what was expected of you, so a more deeper connection will be able to form.
i hope this can help you and please continue sharing your feelings, we are all here to learn and to help as much as we can.
s