How does everyone cope with being nervous, a job interview, public speaking, meeting new folk etc
+4
RavenMoon
feather
SpiritVoices
Violet
8 posters
Being nervous?
Violet- Admin
Number of posts : 24568
Location : UK
Registration date : 2009-02-15
- Post n°1
Being nervous?
SpiritVoices- Member
Number of posts : 13312
Location : UK
Job/hobbies : Retired
Registration date : 2010-12-17
- Post n°2
Re: Being nervous?
Great question,Violet.
As a child I was shy,parents had to push me forward just to speak to someone or to make a new friend.
First day at school was horrendous for me.
All those strange children...
It wasn't until I migrated to Australia that I became more confident in meeting people and making new friends.
Nothing like the Aussies for good friendship!
Joanie
As a child I was shy,parents had to push me forward just to speak to someone or to make a new friend.
First day at school was horrendous for me.
All those strange children...
It wasn't until I migrated to Australia that I became more confident in meeting people and making new friends.
Nothing like the Aussies for good friendship!
Joanie
feather- Member
Number of posts : 1166
Age : 69
Location : Outback Queensland Australia
Registration date : 2010-07-07
- Post n°3
Re: Being nervous?
I don't cope too well. I turn into a jelly just thinking about public speaking. Usually I avoid situations if I can, that make me nervous .....it has worked for 58 years....except at school when it was my turn to do a presentation in front of the class. Living in a remote area for so long, with not many people around hasn't changed things....I like my solitude, freedom and the flexibility of having very few people to please.
Violet- Admin
Number of posts : 24568
Location : UK
Registration date : 2009-02-15
- Post n°4
Re: Being nervous?
Perhaps that's it, the memories of being made at school to give a prentation, stand up and read aloud. or forced into school plays and things, perhaps that's why we turn into gibbering wrecks when we're expected to do it as adults, all those old memories flood back in.
feather- Member
Number of posts : 1166
Age : 69
Location : Outback Queensland Australia
Registration date : 2010-07-07
- Post n°5
Re: Being nervous?
I think you're right, Violet. I used to have piano lessons when I was a kid...it wasn't because I wanted to, but because Grandma though I should and she paid for it. I was not very good at it....because I hated to do the practice. I remember one occasion when my teacher entered me in an eisteddfod playing a piece of music that I didn't like at all, I completely froze up...It was awful, couldn't remember a single note and had to walk off feeling really horrible and totally a failure.... That probably wouldn't have improved my stage presence or confidence. And the 'morning talks' at school when we had to stand up in front of the class and talk about something....started at grade 1....I always felt very nervous.
However both my sons, do a really good job with public speaking. My eldest tends to be a bit nervous...he did a Toast Master course and that really helped. My other son is a natural at public speaking.
They both did Correspondence Schooling at home with me or a governess as a tutor and radio contact with their teacher each day...they call it ''School of The Air....to grade 7 and then away they went to Boarding School. They didn't get the real school feel until they were 13 and then maybe they were old enough not to get stage fright....having already been used to talking on the radio as a day to day necessity.
However both my sons, do a really good job with public speaking. My eldest tends to be a bit nervous...he did a Toast Master course and that really helped. My other son is a natural at public speaking.
They both did Correspondence Schooling at home with me or a governess as a tutor and radio contact with their teacher each day...they call it ''School of The Air....to grade 7 and then away they went to Boarding School. They didn't get the real school feel until they were 13 and then maybe they were old enough not to get stage fright....having already been used to talking on the radio as a day to day necessity.
Violet- Admin
Number of posts : 24568
Location : UK
Registration date : 2009-02-15
- Post n°6
Re: Being nervous?
Yes I think it takes us right back to that 'nervous/scared kid some of us were in particular the sensitive ones.
It must have been awful enough freezing up like that I hope you didn't get a hard time for it, but those feelings and maybe the feeling of letting others down stays with us deep inside somewhere and resurfaces when we're faced with similar as adults.
Good on your sons, it seems your way of schooling has helped them tremendously
It must have been awful enough freezing up like that I hope you didn't get a hard time for it, but those feelings and maybe the feeling of letting others down stays with us deep inside somewhere and resurfaces when we're faced with similar as adults.
Good on your sons, it seems your way of schooling has helped them tremendously
RavenMoon- Member
Number of posts : 585
Location : wishing to be somewhere serene and peacfull
Job/hobbies : fulltime and lots of interests
Registration date : 2012-05-06
- Post n°7
Re: Being nervous?
What a good thread...
I am similar to others, certain things that draws attention to me will create a nervousness in the pit of my stomach. Tests or exams of any sorts send me running.
I remember standing in front of many a class at school and singing my head off( I had quite a good voice when younger)but now I tend to stay firmly in background and just go with flow.
So something, somewhere along the way, started blockages in me to
create this fear of speaking up to people face to face, unless pushed then I dump it in one mad rush lol. It is true that we are shaped to be what we are by our childhood surroundings and input from family when younger.
I am similar to others, certain things that draws attention to me will create a nervousness in the pit of my stomach. Tests or exams of any sorts send me running.
I remember standing in front of many a class at school and singing my head off( I had quite a good voice when younger)but now I tend to stay firmly in background and just go with flow.
So something, somewhere along the way, started blockages in me to
create this fear of speaking up to people face to face, unless pushed then I dump it in one mad rush lol. It is true that we are shaped to be what we are by our childhood surroundings and input from family when younger.
Violet- Admin
Number of posts : 24568
Location : UK
Registration date : 2009-02-15
- Post n°8
Re: Being nervous?
That's a really horrible feeling isn't it, then I start sweating which I hate with a passion overall it's a very muiserable situation to be inwill create a nervousness in the pit of my stomach.
feather- Member
Number of posts : 1166
Age : 69
Location : Outback Queensland Australia
Registration date : 2010-07-07
- Post n°9
Re: Being nervous?
Exams!!! I did in fact do pretty well at school but Exams...Mum would have to give me some nerve tablets??? before I had to sit an exam.
Violet- Admin
Number of posts : 24568
Location : UK
Registration date : 2009-02-15
- Post n°10
Re: Being nervous?
I left school and never went back for my final exams.
I think exams are difficult for kids when they are pressed to revise solidly, imo a kid should pass the exams based on what the teacher has taught not what has been crammed days before they're sat, if the kid fails it's the teacher's failure to teach, if they taught properly these days a kid wouldn't need to cram they'd know their stuff.
And this tiny class sizes thing is nonsense too, (while i'm on my soapbox,) a good teacher could teach a class of 50 like they used to because they had two magic ingredients called discipline and respect.
I don't believe in homework either, if a teacher was doing the job right they wouldn't have to do 'overtime.'
I think exams are difficult for kids when they are pressed to revise solidly, imo a kid should pass the exams based on what the teacher has taught not what has been crammed days before they're sat, if the kid fails it's the teacher's failure to teach, if they taught properly these days a kid wouldn't need to cram they'd know their stuff.
And this tiny class sizes thing is nonsense too, (while i'm on my soapbox,) a good teacher could teach a class of 50 like they used to because they had two magic ingredients called discipline and respect.
I don't believe in homework either, if a teacher was doing the job right they wouldn't have to do 'overtime.'
feather- Member
Number of posts : 1166
Age : 69
Location : Outback Queensland Australia
Registration date : 2010-07-07
- Post n°11
Re: Being nervous?
I was one of the ones who had to revise and study weeks before exams...and the exams were marathons too...for grade 12, maths was 2 papers each 3 hours long and most of the other subjects were 3 hour papers too.
That's a long time to sit and be under pressure. Nower days, over here, most of the assessments are not solely based on the final exams but are ongoing assessments throughout the year and things seem to be more relaxed.
The method of teaching has changed too...no learning 'times table's and spelling 'parrot fashion' anymore like we did.
At least when I get stuck working out a multiplication sum...I can recite the 'times tables' through until I get to the right answer....but then again when I went to school , it was before calculators and computers were invented....we did all our maths the long way!!!
That's a long time to sit and be under pressure. Nower days, over here, most of the assessments are not solely based on the final exams but are ongoing assessments throughout the year and things seem to be more relaxed.
The method of teaching has changed too...no learning 'times table's and spelling 'parrot fashion' anymore like we did.
At least when I get stuck working out a multiplication sum...I can recite the 'times tables' through until I get to the right answer....but then again when I went to school , it was before calculators and computers were invented....we did all our maths the long way!!!
Violet- Admin
Number of posts : 24568
Location : UK
Registration date : 2009-02-15
- Post n°12
Re: Being nervous?
The method of teaching has changed too...no learning 'times table's and spelling 'parrot fashion' anymore like we did.
We should go back to those methods imo, my other half can give me the answer to 7x9 in a split second also we can both spell pretty well, this nonsense these days about teaching kids the shapes of words, and not correcting them when they are wrong is ridiculous. The way I was taught to read is once you've got all your letters and sounds they make you can pretty much read any word because you can break it down and sound it out.
Spelling is atrocious these days, it makes me cringe when 18 year olds can't spell a simple three or four letter word, and i'm not talking about the texting slang, I mean actual everday 3 or 4 letter words spelt wrong such as 'burd' instead of bird It's rife, it's not the odd one.
feather- Member
Number of posts : 1166
Age : 69
Location : Outback Queensland Australia
Registration date : 2010-07-07
- Post n°13
Re: Being nervous?
We learnt by sounding out the letters and then putting them together. Most words can be worked out by the sounds. I remember a couple of years ago when we were on holidays there was a power outage while we were in the middle of a transaction in a shop.... and no power to the shops meant no computers etc. ...so no help adding up. The shop assistant couldn't add up the cost for us or work out how much change to give. I don't know if improved technology is really helping us progress.
Violet- Admin
Number of posts : 24568
Location : UK
Registration date : 2009-02-15
- Post n°14
Re: Being nervous?
they should learn to read and write and do number work before they have ANY access to a computer.
Borisk- Just joined
- Number of posts : 9
Registration date : 2012-12-07
- Post n°15
Re: Being nervous?
People, don't be nervous and all will be ok!
millergrls- Member
Number of posts : 1385
Location : Michigan
Job/hobbies : Dispatcher
Registration date : 2012-11-02
- Post n°16
Re: Being nervous?
Nervousness gets me excited. Not sure what it is but when I am nervous about something, something takes over and I calm right down, and then no worry. Not sure why. I always do well in a high stress situation. It is like I already know that everything will be ok.
Violet- Admin
Number of posts : 24568
Location : UK
Registration date : 2009-02-15
- Post n°17
Re: Being nervous?
That's really good, I get so nervous sometimes I freeze up, other times I get giddy.
ameliorate- Member
Number of posts : 3603
Age : 74
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Job/hobbies : Full-time person! Cooking, creating things
Registration date : 2012-02-15
- Post n°18
Re: Being nervous?
Feeling nervous has a lot to do with overreacting and feeling self-conscious. A handy technique is to switch focus, i.e. to concentrate on the task in hand or the other person. This takes you away from self and thus makes you more effective.
I have done a fair bit of performing in my time (as a singer/songwriter and later doing stand up comedy). If I got too nervous I would remind myself that my nerves mattered more to me than anyone else. The audience were not bothered - all they cared about was the performance. With that shift/sense of perspective in mind I was able to deliver what was required - giving it my best shot.
(I also played a little mental trick with myself ....I promised myself I would be nervous but only off stage afterwards! This delaying tactic worked for me.)
I have done a fair bit of performing in my time (as a singer/songwriter and later doing stand up comedy). If I got too nervous I would remind myself that my nerves mattered more to me than anyone else. The audience were not bothered - all they cared about was the performance. With that shift/sense of perspective in mind I was able to deliver what was required - giving it my best shot.
(I also played a little mental trick with myself ....I promised myself I would be nervous but only off stage afterwards! This delaying tactic worked for me.)
Violet- Admin
Number of posts : 24568
Location : UK
Registration date : 2009-02-15
- Post n°19
Re: Being nervous?
That's a really good strategy thank you
SpiritVoices- Member
Number of posts : 13312
Location : UK
Job/hobbies : Retired
Registration date : 2010-12-17
- Post n°21
Re: Being nervous?
I feel as if I know you?.....RavenMoon wrote:What a good thread...
I am similar to others, certain things that draws attention to me will create a nervousness in the pit of my stomach. Tests or exams of any sorts send me running.
I remember standing in front of many a class at school and singing my head off( I had quite a good voice when younger)but now I tend to stay firmly in background and just go with flow.
So something, somewhere along the way, started blockages in me to
create this fear of speaking up to people face to face, unless pushed then I dump it in one mad rush lol. It is true that we are shaped to be what we are by our childhood surroundings and input from family when younger.
Joanie x