Choosing exactly when to slip away?

First topic message reminder :

I've heard loads of times how someone will be in their last minutes of their life, with their loved ones by their bedside, and often they will slip away when their loved ones leave the room for a few minutes, do you think this is just down to chance? Or can we choose to go when our loved ones backs are turned, and do you think this happens to spare the feelings of the loved ones?

I’m sure as a parent, I will want to see and protect my
children. I will be an Angel for those I love."

The world of spirit is populated by former parents. Each has a life and a development which is separate from the children they helped create. I expect others may have felt as you do but the reality may be that what is learned on passing, in the environment to which you return, may change your views.

Our children are individuals who become incarnate adults and have already chosen to lead their own lives in this world. We may wish to continue a protecting role as we had when they were small and young but from 'the other side' there is little which may be done or which should be done.... Were it otherwise we would have examples too numerous to count.

Humankind begins as children, and some parents may feel they will always be their children, but the soul/spirit which animates kids is an adult one which is transiently assuming the form of a child. On achieving incarnate adulthood, that soul-spirit regains its former status and can live its own life.

Parents may assume a different role but to try to remain the parents they once were towards their offspring might not allow the freedom of the child to be an adult, the freedom to make mistakes, the freedom to learn or not from making them.....

"There is enough room to have the entire human race that ever existed and
still have room for other things on this planet, assuming we are going
to spend it hear. Flying will be no problem; gravity is just another
physical form. Of course without the human body and its needs, what
size, makes no difference. It could be that the spirit is as small a
pea, or as large as a planet! Size, as I found out with Jill Taylers
experience with nirvana, is irrelevant."

We never know how many souls there are or were or will be. I suspect that if there is a finite number it will be very large! The spark of the divine - our soul, our spirit - which animates our physical shell has no size in the sense that we measure size. Only the universe in which we presently live gives us a perspective of size or volume. Consider the infinitesimally large volume 'out there' and even in our incarnate form we'd have a job to fill it! As discarnates we'll have the same volume, albeit it at a different frequency, so size really isn't a practical limitation away from our tiny world.

You mention flying but that relates to the physical, as with gravity. You could, should you wish, 'fly' when you have left this domain but it will probably feel like an absurd thing to do. Why would you fly when travel is not constrained anyway? You could be where you choose to be simply by willing it, always provided that it is within the spiritual level you've 'earned' in your spiritual progression. Put simply you can't just choose to travel to the higher/highest realms of spiritual evolvement until you too are evolved to an appropriate level.

the severing of the so-called silver cord as often described.

Yes i've heard this too, it is also widely believed that this is what stops you from straying too far on the astral or being 'unable' to return to your body. Unless of course you die.

The world of spirit is populated by former parents. Each has a life and a development which is separate from the children they helped create. I expect others may have felt as you do but the reality may be that what is learned on passing, in the environment to which you return, may change your views.

Our children are individuals who become incarnate adults and have already chosen to lead their own lives in this world. We may wish to continue a protecting role as we had when they were small and young but from 'the other side' there is little which may be done or which should be done.... Were it otherwise we would have examples too numerous to count.

Humankind begins as children, and some parents may feel they will always be their children, but the soul/spirit which animates kids is an adult one which is transiently assuming the form of a child. On achieving incarnate adulthood, that soul-spirit regains its former status and can live its own life.

Parents may assume a different role but to try to remain the parents they once were towards their offspring might not allow the freedom of the child to be an adult, the freedom to make mistakes, the freedom to learn or not from making them.....

I totally get what you're saying here, I imagine it would take time to adjust to such things and just as we on the earth can struggle to let go of passed loved ones , so too the loved ones who have passed may struggle to let go too..

As a final comment, the issue of life review after, before or during passing makes little chronological sense to me. I have read little clear guidance on timing but I think it's fair to say that review occurs at some point after our death - our passing over - and when that happens is largely irrelevant.

Perhaps this isn't done until we are truly ready to acknowledge our flaws/mistakes etc. It may come as a massive shock to some to realise that what at the time seemed so trivial, may have impacted massively on others' lives.

Violet wrote:

As a final comment, the issue of life review after, before or during passing makes little chronological sense to me. I have read little clear guidance on timing but I think it's fair to say that review occurs at some point after our death - our passing over - and when that happens is largely irrelevant.

Perhaps this isn't done until we are truly ready to acknowledge our flaws/mistakes etc. It may come as a massive shock to some to realise that what at the time seemed so trivial, may have impacted massively on others' lives.

Maybe when we're able to properly understand our failings etc? Once freed from the constraints of the physical shell, though, we may find we already know far more than we were ever conscious of whilst in the body....

Comes down to the debate about multiple incarnations. If we don't experience physical life more than just the once, then maybe we would need to make further progress spiritually after our passing before we could fully appreciate the impact of our actions and omissions here? Any review might then be delayed because of that need.

Had we had multiple lives then perhaps we might have made more progress allowing an earlier review point after death.

Just being in the situation that we are currently discussing this matter might mean we are likely to be in the latter category.

we may find we already know far more than we were ever conscious of whilst in the body....

I think this is a big possibility Mac, as we won't be bogged down by aches, pains, hunger, thirst and many other bodily urges which may cloud judgement/thought.

If we don't experience physical life more than just the once, then maybe we would need to make further progress spiritually after our passing

This actually sits far more comfortably with me than reincarnation, and maybe the review would be delayed for that reason.

Had we had multiple lives then perhaps we might have made more progress allowing an earlier review point after death.

I wonder if this was the case, would we have a review after each incarnation, would they be compared to see if we had 'grown' making several lives worthwhile? Or perhaps one overall review which covered all the lives?

"

Had we had multiple lives then perhaps we might have
made more progress allowing an earlier review point after death.

I wonder if this was the case, would we have a review after each
incarnation, would they be compared to see if we had 'grown' making
several lives worthwhile? Or perhaps one overall review which covered
all the lives?"


My stance is that review occurs on each occasion in order to plan for what comes next. Whatever new life is undertaken, however, it does not necessarily mean that all, or even any, of the aims will be achieved. Total achievement may never occur no matter how many incarnations are chosen but at some point I feel confident that an appropriate compromise will be reached. If I'm wrong then it might be that we will - I will as I'm speaking for myself now - have a long, tedious journey ahead....

But maybe that's what we come here to experience and maybe when we're freed each time from the constraints of the physical, things don't seem as tedious as I am supposing?

My stance is that review occurs on each occasion in order to plan for what comes next. Whatever new life is undertaken, however, it does not necessarily mean that all, or even any, of the aims will be achieved.

Hi Mac, if we do come back time and time again it would make perfect sense to do it that way.

Total achievement may never occur no matter how many incarnations are chosen but at some point I feel confident that an appropriate compromise will be reached.

That's an interesting point, but perhaps total acheivement is something for much later on when we are finally 'home' for good?

Violet wrote:

My stance is that review occurs on each occasion in order to plan for what comes next. Whatever new life is undertaken, however, it does not necessarily mean that all, or even any, of the aims will be achieved.

Hi Mac, if we do come back time and time again it would make perfect sense to do it that way.

Total achievement may never occur no matter how many incarnations are chosen but at some point I feel confident that an appropriate compromise will be reached.

That's an interesting point, but perhaps total acheivement is something for much later on when we are finally 'home' for good?

The "total achievement" I mention is a largely notional concept - thinking on I have considerable doubts that it will ever be likely for most of us, here or hereafter. And the reason would be that it's a human concept which means little in the grand scheme.

However well we may understand life in the body, however well we might understand life elsewhere, the reality is likely to be that we understand both only very shallowly. That's not to say that our understanding is wrong but there are likely to be so many interacting factors that we aren't aware of that we can only begin to glimpse the overall picture - and those who reject multiple life experiences (reincarnation) may not get even that small glimpse.

The notion of total achievement may be nothing more than that - a notion.

I have moved away from my earlier 'certainty' that we all reincarnate routinely on numerous occasions to a position that we reincarnate as often as we feel to be necessary. So that could be anything from not even once (one physical life only) to a number which is determined solely by individual circumstances - as many as one feels one needs. In that way everyone is right in their expectations.

Some say there's no such thing as reincarnation and for them it will be true. Others say we choose multiple existences to get the understanding we desire or need - and for them, too, it will be true.

I have often noticed how our loved ones leave us when we are not there.
I wonder if by intent,this is planned by the spirit world to save us seeing our loved ones die in pain.
Just a thought.
Joanie

i've known of a few who passed after their loved ones left. maybe a bit like doing a wee, easier release whe you're not observed, for some, and that's probably got to do with how the soon to be mourners are behaving. with my sister, those of us there, sensed a very strong enrgy come to the room to receive her, this energy retracted/ receded when a nurse came in the room, like she didn't belong on the departure platform. from watching my sister and my mother die, we helped them, supported them/ cheered them on, rather than held them back. when my mother was passing we all fell into the prayers she always loved. it would have looked like a scene from the brady bunch or partridge family (t would be hard to see it not as twee on television, the way we pitched in with lines)...it made things easier i could tell, as she ascended just like a boeing 747.
on another note, one of my sisters used to work in a nursing home, and she told me that some of the elderly patients who were to pass, would say "i don't know how to die" she told them "just have a cup of tea," and she reckoned that would do the trick

sparkly wrote:i've known of a few who passed after their loved ones left. maybe a bit like doing a wee, easier release whe you're not observed, for some, and that's probably got to do with how the soon to be mourners are behaving. with my sister, those of us there, sensed a very strong enrgy come to the room to receive her, this energy retracted/ receded when a nurse came in the room, like she didn't belong on the departure platform. from watching my sister and my mother die, we helped them, supported them/ cheered them on, rather than held them back. when my mother was passing we all fell into the prayers she always loved. it would have looked like a scene from the brady bunch or partridge family (t would be hard to see it not as twee on television, the way we pitched in with lines)...it made things easier i could tell, as she ascended just like a boeing 747.
on another note, one of my sisters used to work in a nursing home, and she told me that some of the elderly patients who were to pass, would say "i don't know how to die" she told them "just have a cup of tea," and she reckoned that would do the trick

I have a sister in law who used to be a ward sister.
Now I don't know whether this is the norm in every hospital.
She told me one time that it was custom in the hosp she was employed with that after every death, the deceased one was left an hour afrer death to allow the soul to leave the body.
Joanie

I wonder if by intent,this is planned by the spirit world to save us seeing our loved ones die in pain.

I think it is to spare loved ones and something else I just thought about it imagine beginning to slip away and the loved ones doing all they can to keep you there, you'd feel so torn.

I have a sister in law who used to be a ward sister.
Now I don't know whether this is the norm in every hospital.
She told me one time that it was custom in the hosp she was employed with that after every death, the deceased one was left an hour afrer death to allow the soul to leave the body.
Joanie

I hope they didn't leave them on the wards, some believe in giving the spirit time to leave , i'm sure this is the case in many religions too

Joanie wrote:

sparkly wrote:i've known of a few who passed after their loved ones left. maybe a bit like doing a wee, easier release whe you're not observed, for some, and that's probably got to do with how the soon to be mourners are behaving. with my sister, those of us there, sensed a very strong enrgy come to the room to receive her, this energy retracted/ receded when a nurse came in the room, like she didn't belong on the departure platform. from watching my sister and my mother die, we helped them, supported them/ cheered them on, rather than held them back. when my mother was passing we all fell into the prayers she always loved. it would have looked like a scene from the brady bunch or partridge family (t would be hard to see it not as twee on television, the way we pitched in with lines)...it made things easier i could tell, as she ascended just like a boeing 747.
on another note, one of my sisters used to work in a nursing home, and she told me that some of the elderly patients who were to pass, would say "i don't know how to die" she told them "just have a cup of tea," and she reckoned that would do the trick

I have a sister in law who used to be a ward sister.
Now I don't know whether this is the norm in every hospital.
She told me one time that it was custom in the hosp she was employed with that after every death, the deceased one was left an hour afrer death to allow the soul to leave the body.
Joanie

Also it would be a good Idea as well, this person was helped by God to come back.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fq6SxLWZxig&feature=feedf

Hi Tony, yes there was a case in the uk not too long ago, I think she woke up in a morgue that is another thing which scares me about dying, what if i'm not dead?

Violet wrote:Hi Tony, yes there was a case in the uk not too long ago, I think she woke up in a morgue that is another thing which scares me about dying, what if i'm not dead?

I know that scares me as well.

I want them to remove all my vital organs to make sure when I 'go'

I think most people can't understand death, most are frightened of it, because of this they bring that negative energy into the room that to one who is ready to leave, and just make the whole process so hard on the one trying to leave.
Those who are ready and have excepted that their time is up are ready to leave, for this reason we should try our best to let them pass away in peace, its hard but really we are being selfish when we don't want to let them go, of course at the time we are so confused, this is why we should try and to except death before we die, to make death our friend so when the time comes we will be ready, we will also have much more understanding for those who are leaving, we can then let them leave in peace.

AngelTony wrote:

Joanie wrote:

sparkly wrote:i've known of a few who passed after their loved ones left. maybe a bit like doing a wee, easier release whe you're not observed, for some, and that's probably got to do with how the soon to be mourners are behaving. with my sister, those of us there, sensed a very strong enrgy come to the room to receive her, this energy retracted/ receded when a nurse came in the room, like she didn't belong on the departure platform. from watching my sister and my mother die, we helped them, supported them/ cheered them on, rather than held them back. when my mother was passing we all fell into the prayers she always loved. it would have looked like a scene from the brady bunch or partridge family (t would be hard to see it not as twee on television, the way we pitched in with lines)...it made things easier i could tell, as she ascended just like a boeing 747.
on another note, one of my sisters used to work in a nursing home, and she told me that some of the elderly patients who were to pass, would say "i don't know how to die" she told them "just have a cup of tea," and she reckoned that would do the trick

I have a sister in law who used to be a ward sister.
Now I don't know whether this is the norm in every hospital.
She told me one time that it was custom in the hosp she was employed with that after every death, the deceased one was left an hour afrer death to allow the soul to leave the body.
Joanie

Also it would be a good Idea as well, this person was helped by God to come back.
[url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fq6SxLWZxig&feature=feedf

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fq6SxLWZxig&feature=feedf[/quote[/url]]


If someone departs before relatives arrive,they are usually laid out nicely in bed,curtains drawn until said relatives arrive. The body is not removed until they arrive except in extreme circunstances.
My husband passed away while I was on my way to the hosp. All drips were removed,he was nicely laid out.
He looked peaceful as if he was still sleeping. I had to check with the nurse to ask her if he was still living.
Callous but true.
It broke my heart that day that he passed without me being there to be with him.
Joanie x

How uncanny that I should find this subject on here tonight....but then, nothing in spirit ever surprises me.
My work college and I were only just talking about this today. You see, we work in aged-care, so in our job we eventually lose our clients. Most are between the ages of 70-95 yrs. Before that, I worked within a hospital, so my exposure to this phenominum is growing. I've also had this happen in my own life several times.
I've come to the conclusion that this is not a random event, but in some way, part of the Grand Plan of spirit leaving this earthly plain. It's too obvious, isn't it?

NightSpirit wrote:How uncanny that I should find this subject on here tonight....but then, nothing in spirit ever surprises me.
My work college and I were only just talking about this today. You see, we work in aged-care, so in our job we eventually lose our clients. Most are between the ages of 70-95 yrs. Before that, I worked within a hospital, so my exposure to this phenominum is growing. I've also had this happen in my own life several times.
I've come to the conclusion that this is not a random event, but in some way, part of the Grand Plan of spirit leaving this earthly plain. It's too obvious, isn't it?

I'm getting within that range.........
My one aim is to go quietly,no fuss.
Just let my family find me quietly 'gone' in bed.
I remember sitting with my grandson after he died in hospital a year ago.
He was only 35 years.
The room was peaceful but I felt spirit all around me as I held his hand.
The atmosphere in that hosp room was wonderful,no grieving and I felt my hubby (his grandad) waiting to take him home.
Joanie

Joanie wrote:

NightSpirit wrote:How uncanny that I should find this subject on here tonight....but then, nothing in spirit ever surprises me.
My work college and I were only just talking about this today. You see, we work in aged-care, so in our job we eventually lose our clients. Most are between the ages of 70-95 yrs. Before that, I worked within a hospital, so my exposure to this phenominum is growing. I've also had this happen in my own life several times.
I've come to the conclusion that this is not a random event, but in some way, part of the Grand Plan of spirit leaving this earthly plain. It's too obvious, isn't it?

I'm getting within that range.........
My one aim is to go quietly,no fuss.
Just let my family find me quietly 'gone' in bed.
I remember sitting with my grandson after he died in hospital a year ago.
He was only 35 years.
The room was peaceful but I felt spirit all around me as I held his hand.
The atmosphere in that hosp room was wonderful,no grieving and I felt my hubby (his grandad) waiting to take him home.
Joanie

Bless you Joanie. I to sat with my husband holding his hand till the last, so I know how that works re your dear grandson. I guess we are all candidates for being in that range, as age doesn't really factor in our departing, as you well know by your grandson. I'm so glad you felt the love and peace in the room and the presence of his grandad waiting to greet him.

I remember noticing something else,Nightspirit.
You know how hospital rooms become so warm?
I remember the room cooling rapidly suddenly,I got up to close the window.
It lasted for about 10 mins and that was when I felt spirit in the room.
It was like someone had quietly entered the room that I was not aware of.
I felt my husband at the other side of the bed.
Joanie xx

Joanie wrote:I remember noticing something else,Nightspirit.
You know how hospital rooms become so warm?
I remember the room cooling rapidly suddenly,I got up to close the window.
It lasted for about 10 mins and that was when I felt spirit in the room.
It was like someone had quietly entered the room that I was not aware of.
I felt my husband at the other side of the bed.
Joanie xx

I've also heard this happen on many occasions, but haven't experienced it myself.