Im Losing It!

The past week has really hit me hard in life, just everything that I didn't want to happen happened. I have been battling with my personality just wondering why it doesn't give me the amount of friends I would prefer, not to mention how lonely school can be without them :( . This has been creating a riot in my family, as they say I am being completely selfish and need to worry about my family over myself. Also I have been having no progress whatsoever in anything, especially spiritually (which for a while I felt good about my progress), and all of this together is just putting me in my own little tiny box in which I and only I can comfort myself in.
I always thought one of my "purposes" was to make people feel somewhat better about themselves, but it's hard when I can't even do the same for myself. Please tell me I'm not the only subject to this :(

Maybe you don't realize how your thoughts affect your life. You say everything you didn't
want to happen, happened. This is negative thinking. Try instead to focus on what it is you
do want. Don't let what others tell you, make you feel bad. Have confidence in yourself.
Everything will work out for you, don't lose hope.

You aren't alone in feeling this way.

Retro7600 wrote:The past week has really hit me hard in life, just everything that I didn't want to happen happened. I have been battling with my personality just wondering why it doesn't give me the amount of friends I would prefer, not to mention how lonely school can be without them :( . This has been creating a riot in my family, as they say I am being completely selfish and need to worry about my family over myself. Also I have been having no progress whatsoever in anything, especially spiritually (which for a while I felt good about my progress), and all of this together is just putting me in my own little tiny box in which I and only I can comfort myself in.
I always thought one of my "purposes" was to make people feel somewhat better about themselves, but it's hard when I can't even do the same for myself. Please tell me I'm not the only subject to this :(

You seem to have taken the whole world onto your shoulders. You should be enjoying life, having fun.
Aqua is right about the positive thinking aspect. But I know how hard it can be to just turn things around.

I would suggest that perhaps you decide to forget about spiritual progression, that will come naturally when you are in a happier more settled place.

Do you want to discuss your personality a bit more?  What are the battles you talk about? Do you have someone offline that you trust and so can confide in or chat things through about how you feel?

That sounds good advice,Carron.   Advice I could do with taking for myself.

Everyone loses their self confidence at times so I can understand how you feel.....

Joanie

Thank you for the kind words, but I don't know exactly if it'll be easy to see a counselor now, especially with my parents not really caring as much as I thought they would. I'll try my best with each other suggestion.

To answer crystal's questions:
My personality is still to be completely figured out, but in the meantime I feel like I know a good majority of it. I'm nice to all of the people I interact with; I'm encouraging, I'm always happy, and I make sure to help everywhere that I can (I'm a teachers pet.). Half of this is me just trying to get along, and believe me, the effort I give doing this is exhausting. Yet nobody seems to want to hang out with me; they all fade into their groups, as if I was never there to help. Yes, I feel a bit unappreciated, but I get over that.

The "battles" I talk about are the portion of my personality I don't know, more so the things I do know that I dislike about myself. I constantly just want to know why if I'm such a "beam of light", why am I the one directing myself to help them? This makes me feel a bit useless. The rest of the battles are between myself; I can't figure out who I am, what my purpose is.

Lastly, I have talked with the guidance counselor at my school, but he just says "you need to find an activity or something to make more friends" and leaves it at "if you can find one, talk to me". So I'm just alone digging through people that have nothing in common with me just to find a friend. I'm pretty sure everyone else at my school don't even get put in a situation where they have to feel like this :(

You really are trying hard aren't you. I can see that your words here show that.

[ I'm encouraging, I'm always happy, and I make sure to help everywhere that I can (I'm a teachers pet.). Half of this is me just trying to get along, and believe me, the effort I give doing this is exhausting. Yet nobody seems to want to hang out with me; ]

But - the effort you give doing this is exhausting - so why not stop for a while? Give yourself some time off, take a break, step back, just relax a little and see what happens. I don't mean change anything but instead of making yourself exhausted and trying to help everyone, wait a little, see if anyone else steps in and takes over?

Personalities change and grow and evolve over time with experiences and knowledge and environment. Not wanting to play the age card here but you will notice that as you get older things will change, you won't be the same person you are right now ever again. You too will learn and  change and the phases and stages of development will seem overwhelming each time until you find one that fits you so well you don't even realise that the effort has gone.

Retro7600 wrote:Thank you for the kind words, but I don't know exactly if it'll be easy to see a counselor now, especially with my parents not really caring as much as I thought they would. I'll try my best with each other suggestion.

To answer crystal's questions:
My personality is still to be completely figured out, but in the meantime I feel like I know a good majority of it. I'm nice to all of the people I interact with; I'm encouraging, I'm always happy, and I make sure to help everywhere that I can (I'm a teachers pet.). Half of this is me just trying to get along, and believe me, the effort I give doing this is exhausting. Yet nobody seems to want to hang out with me; they all fade into their groups, as if I was never there to help. Yes, I feel a bit unappreciated, but I get over that.

The "battles" I talk about are the portion of my personality I don't know, more so the things I do know that I dislike about myself. I constantly just want to know why if I'm such a "beam of light", why am I the one directing myself to help them? This makes me feel a bit useless. The rest of the battles are between myself; I can't figure out who I am, what my purpose is.

Lastly, I have talked with the guidance counselor at my school, but he just says "you need to find an activity or something to make more friends" and leaves it at "if you can find one, talk to me". So I'm just alone digging through people that have nothing in common with me just to find a friend. I'm pretty sure everyone else at my school don't even get put in a situation where they have to feel like this :(

Now I was very much like you when at school.  Too shy to speak first to other folks.
Let the people come to you and not you to them.    I learned that way what kinds of people I felt at home with.....I felt comfortable with......