Contacting a spirit who had dementia....

Crystal wrote:It has been such a short time, I wonder whether it is too soon? I would imagine that you are still grieving and sorting out things?

Thunder Bow wrote:One reason may be that the Spirit Would has a different time frame. One second there may = 1 year in this world. Give it some time.

ameliorate wrote:This post is to those with the ability to contact someone's spirit shortly after their demise.

My mother had dementia for the last few years of her life.  We saw her character/personality/identity get stripped away until there was just a very faint dilution of who she once was.

On her demise, (last November) being spiritually focused, I was hoping to get some form of contact - to feel/sense her spirit.  However, nothing transpired which is a huge disappointment to me.

What I want to ask is:-
- do you think her having dementia at the time of her death is a reason for maybe not sensing her spirit at all? 


- Is there less success in contacting those who had dementia?


She may have made some kind of contact with me but I did not recognise anything as being herself, my mother - as I knew her.

skye wrote:

ameliorate wrote:This post is to those with the ability to contact someone's spirit shortly after their demise.

My mother had dementia for the last few years of her life.  We saw her character/personality/identity get stripped away until there was just a very faint dilution of who she once was.

On her demise, (last November) being spiritually focused, I was hoping to get some form of contact - to feel/sense her spirit.  However, nothing transpired which is a huge disappointment to me.

What I want to ask is:-
- do you think her having dementia at the time of her death is a reason for maybe not sensing her spirit at all? 


- Is there less success in contacting those who had dementia?


She may have made some kind of contact with me but I did not recognise anything as being herself, my mother - as I knew her.

 A factor which is often overlooked and may be worth considering is a person's free will and their belief in an afterlife. For example, should your mother have had no belief or understanding in life beyond death, it's likely to take 'time' for her to accept she has survived physical death  and can express herself as a spirit being. May I add that during this state she would not be abandoned, she would be watched over by spirits who have chosen to be of service to others in this particular way. 
 

mac wrote:I think skye has expressed the situation beautifully; it's exactly how I see things based on what's been taught, what I have learned.

Elsewhere are members on another website in great distress firstly because of the loss of their loved ones and secondly because their expectation of contact by, or signs from, them have not been realised. They are not consoled by attempts to explain the situation their loved ones may now be in and are unable to accept that the love they felt for each other in the physical continues into the etheric dimension(s).  

With such expectations of contact across the dimensions going unmet no relief from their all-consuming grief, sometimes guilt about actions and omissions, appears possible in the shorter term. How it will pan out in the future for them is unclear but reaching out to them in the only way we have isn't working.  I don't have any answers to this.

ameliorate wrote:

mac wrote:I think skye has expressed the situation beautifully; it's exactly how I see things based on what's been taught, what I have learned.

Elsewhere are members on another website in great distress firstly because of the loss of their loved ones and secondly because their expectation of contact by, or signs from, them have not been realised. They are not consoled by attempts to explain the situation their loved ones may now be in and are unable to accept that the love they felt for each other in the physical continues into the etheric dimension(s).  

With such expectations of contact across the dimensions going unmet no relief from their all-consuming grief, sometimes guilt about actions and omissions, appears possible in the shorter term. How it will pan out in the future for them is unclear but reaching out to them in the only way we have isn't working.  I don't have any answers to this.

Mac - my main point has not yet been addressed.  Please read my previous post.

ameliorate wrote:

skye wrote:

ameliorate wrote:This post is to those with the ability to contact someone's spirit shortly after their demise.

My mother had dementia for the last few years of her life.  We saw her character/personality/identity get stripped away until there was just a very faint dilution of who she once was.

On her demise, (last November) being spiritually focused, I was hoping to get some form of contact - to feel/sense her spirit.  However, nothing transpired which is a huge disappointment to me.

What I want to ask is:-
- do you think her having dementia at the time of her death is a reason for maybe not sensing her spirit at all? 


- Is there less success in contacting those who had dementia?


She may have made some kind of contact with me but I did not recognise anything as being herself, my mother - as I knew her.

 A factor which is often overlooked and may be worth considering is a person's free will and their belief in an afterlife. For example, should your mother have had no belief or understanding in life beyond death, it's likely to take 'time' for her to accept she has survived physical death  and can express herself as a spirit being. May I add that during this state she would not be abandoned, she would be watched over by spirits who have chosen to be of service to others in this particular way. 
 

skye - thank you for your reply and thoughts.  I hope you don't mind me editing it to address this part of it since it struck a chord.

Although my mother was a Catholic, curiously enough she said she didn't believe in the afterlife - but she said this when she had dementia.  I asked her several different times and the answer was always 'no.'  So the time factor could well be relevant here.

However, no one has picked up on my main point for this thread, notably, that because she had dementia (for the last few years of her life) she just existed on a weak energy DILUTION of the person she was!  It was NOT our mother as we knew her that we saw and this is what concerns me....i.e. is this a reason that I have not felt her spirit because her personality/character was no longer there really for years before her demise.
Are people who have had dementia harder to contact spirit wise?

ameliorate wrote:

skye wrote:

ameliorate wrote:This post is to those with the ability to contact someone's spirit shortly after their demise.

My mother had dementia for the last few years of her life.  We saw her character/personality/identity get stripped away until there was just a very faint dilution of who she once was.

On her demise, (last November) being spiritually focused, I was hoping to get some form of contact - to feel/sense her spirit.  However, nothing transpired which is a huge disappointment to me.

What I want to ask is:-
- do you think her having dementia at the time of her death is a reason for maybe not sensing her spirit at all? 


- Is there less success in contacting those who had dementia?


She may have made some kind of contact with me but I did not recognise anything as being herself, my mother - as I knew her.

 A factor which is often overlooked and may be worth considering is a person's free will and their belief in an afterlife. For example, should your mother have had no belief or understanding in life beyond death, it's likely to take 'time' for her to accept she has survived physical death  and can express herself as a spirit being. May I add that during this state she would not be abandoned, she would be watched over by spirits who have chosen to be of service to others in this particular way. 
 

skye - thank you for your reply and thoughts.  I hope you don't mind me editing it to address this part of it since it struck a chord.

Although my mother was a Catholic, curiously enough she said she didn't believe in the afterlife - but she said this when she had dementia.  I asked her several different times and the answer was always 'no.'  So the time factor could well be relevant here.

However, no one has picked up on my main point for this thread, notably, that because she had dementia (for the last few years of her life) she just existed on a weak energy DILUTION of the person she was!  It was NOT our mother as we knew her that we saw and this is what concerns me....i.e. is this a reason that I have not felt her spirit because her personality/character was no longer there really for years before her demise.
Are people who have had dementia harder to contact spirit wise?

ameliorate wrote:I thought I would share my findings having done a google search (I thought I would ask on this forum first but now felt the need to do such a search).  In case anyone else is in a similar situation then this info may be useful...  It's from this website..


http://www.denalilove.com/FAQ.html



Q: What is the best time frame to wait to try and contact a loved one who has crossed over?
A: There is no set time for spirits being able to communicate...some take longer than others; some can come through quite clearly within weeks or even days. We used to say 6 months to 1 year, but have discovered that's no longer the rule.  Many are coming through very soon after passing. Those who had a long illness or who had Alzheimers prior to passing can come through right away and communicate very well. In fact, it's even possible to speak with people who are still alive, but are suffering from dementia or Alzheimers, in a coma, or about to make their transition.

Of course I realise this info is just from one source, i.e. I have no way of gauging its accuracy but I found nothing else directly relevant.

skye wrote:

ameliorate wrote:I thought I would share my findings having done a google search (I thought I would ask on this forum first but now felt the need to do such a search).  In case anyone else is in a similar situation then this info may be useful...  It's from this website..


http://www.denalilove.com/FAQ.html



Q: What is the best time frame to wait to try and contact a loved one who has crossed over?
A: There is no set time for spirits being able to communicate...some take longer than others; some can come through quite clearly within weeks or even days. We used to say 6 months to 1 year, but have discovered that's no longer the rule.  Many are coming through very soon after passing. Those who had a long illness or who had Alzheimers prior to passing can come through right away and communicate very well. In fact, it's even possible to speak with people who are still alive, but are suffering from dementia or Alzheimers, in a coma, or about to make their transition.

Of course I realise this info is just from one source, i.e. I have no way of gauging its accuracy but I found nothing else directly relevant.

I have come to realise it doesn't matter how long a person has been in spirit before they make contact with a loved one. Perhaps it is more about their personalty and character as well as having knowledge about the afterlife which makes a difference. Their religious background and culture, etc will have an effect on what they 'think' will happen or their 'expectations' on what happens. Agnostics expect nothing, therefore for a period of 'time' this is what they will experience.

On a personal level I have relatives who have been on the other side for over 40 years and as yet they have not made contact via a medium, or with me sensing them. 

A long while ago I gave a message from a lady who was in hospital with Alzheimers. Her husband was the link to the spirit communication. Apparently she wanted her family to know that she was in contact with her deceased husband and communicating coherently with him, whereas she couldn't do so here with members of her family. She went on to say how much she was grateful to them and how much she loved them all. I imagine this is made possible because we are Spiritual beings rather than physical beings.

ameliorate wrote:

skye wrote:

ameliorate wrote:I thought I would share my findings having done a google search (I thought I would ask on this forum first but now felt the need to do such a search).  In case anyone else is in a similar situation then this info may be useful...  It's from this website..


http://www.denalilove.com/FAQ.html



Q: What is the best time frame to wait to try and contact a loved one who has crossed over?
A: There is no set time for spirits being able to communicate...some take longer than others; some can come through quite clearly within weeks or even days. We used to say 6 months to 1 year, but have discovered that's no longer the rule.  Many are coming through very soon after passing. Those who had a long illness or who had Alzheimers prior to passing can come through right away and communicate very well. In fact, it's even possible to speak with people who are still alive, but are suffering from dementia or Alzheimers, in a coma, or about to make their transition.

Of course I realise this info is just from one source, i.e. I have no way of gauging its accuracy but I found nothing else directly relevant.

I have come to realise it doesn't matter how long a person has been in spirit before they make contact with a loved one. Perhaps it is more about their personalty and character as well as having knowledge about the afterlife which makes a difference. Their religious background and culture, etc will have an effect on what they 'think' will happen or their 'expectations' on what happens. Agnostics expect nothing, therefore for a period of 'time' this is what they will experience.

On a personal level I have relatives who have been on the other side for over 40 years and as yet they have not made contact via a medium, or with me sensing them. 

A long while ago I gave a message from a lady who was in hospital with Alzheimers. Her husband was the link to the spirit communication. Apparently she wanted her family to know that she was in contact with her deceased husband and communicating coherently with him, whereas she couldn't do so here with members of her family. She went on to say how much she was grateful to them and how much she loved them all. I imagine this is made possible because we are Spiritual beings rather than physical beings.

Thanks for your post.  Your last paragraph echoes the findings of what I posted (in my quote within your post).

I am not concerned with the time length re. making a connection.  My main concern is, as I have said, that there is not much left of the personality at the time of death when the person has had established/prolonged dementia.   Hence, does their spirit not have much of who the person was?  This might explain not having had a recognisable contact from my mother although some posts have indicated it may be too soon (however, this is contradicted by the info I found and shared in my above post  # 14).  Confusing!

I seem to be getting more frustrated/upset with replies that do not fully grasp what I am asking so maybe I should just accept that I will not get a direct answer to this here and let it go.

Thank you all for your posts.  I realise my request is unusual and, probably, outside the common experience of making contact.

Blueanchor wrote:I haven't responded Ame, because like everyone else, I would only be able to theorise based on experiences that I might try to relate to yours. And I feel in this situation it is wrong to do that because it's not just a discussion about what might be as it has a personal element.

Mediums don't 'know' and the many claims that they do, in my view are not helpful to people - and I'm getting frustrated just reading people trying to say the right thing and know, rather than just accept that they don't.

I do hope you find your answers Ame, but think maybe they will come with more clarity in the quiet times to yourself.

Blueanchor wrote:Respected  . Have you got any plans for Saturday, to mark your mums birthday?