I feel like I'm headed down a one way street to following her. What the hell is wrong with me?
+5
Auras
Blueanchor
Bodhicitta
ameliorate
justme
9 posters
My twin flame committed suicide
justme- Newbie
- Number of posts : 41
Registration date : 2015-11-04
ameliorate- Member
Number of posts : 3603
Age : 74
Location : London, UK
Job/hobbies : Full-time person! Cooking, creating things
Registration date : 2012-02-15
Obviously you are distraught and grieving. With such thoughts that you think you are headed likewise, I urge
you to seek professional help....
http://www.suicidestop.com/suicide_prevention_chat_online.html
you to seek professional help....
http://www.suicidestop.com/suicide_prevention_chat_online.html
Last edited by ameliorate on Mon Feb 08, 2016 11:29 pm; edited 1 time in total
Bodhicitta- Member
Number of posts : 101
Location : California
Job/hobbies : Retired
Registration date : 2016-02-03
justme wrote:I feel like I'm headed down a one way street to following her. What the hell is wrong with me?
Do not do it justme! Your after-death state will be far worse for you than the agony you feel now.
See if any part of this brief piece on 'why suicide does not work' will help to stop the pull you feel down that 'one way street'.
Check out the blog of Mark Jaqua at markrjaqua.wordpress.com
ameliorate- Member
Number of posts : 3603
Age : 74
Location : London, UK
Job/hobbies : Full-time person! Cooking, creating things
Registration date : 2012-02-15
I agree with Bodhicitta about the negative repercussions on the passage of your soul should you act on your current thoughts. There is
much that supports this from various spiritual teachings. I suggest you do a google search on this.
Making a rash judgement when highly emotional is never wise. Do you meditate?
It would be beneficial/empowering to remember all your virtues. Focus on the positives.
Perhaps you would benefit from some soothing music or, maybe this (posted on another thread)
much that supports this from various spiritual teachings. I suggest you do a google search on this.
Making a rash judgement when highly emotional is never wise. Do you meditate?
It would be beneficial/empowering to remember all your virtues. Focus on the positives.
Perhaps you would benefit from some soothing music or, maybe this (posted on another thread)
Last edited by ameliorate on Mon Feb 08, 2016 11:50 pm; edited 1 time in total
justme- Newbie
- Number of posts : 41
Registration date : 2015-11-04
How do you know that for a fact bodhi?
justme- Newbie
- Number of posts : 41
Registration date : 2015-11-04
I think I've been committing suicide for years anyway
justme- Newbie
- Number of posts : 41
Registration date : 2015-11-04
I'm insane so according to the article if "in a fit of insanity" the person commits suicide they won't have to suffer in the afterlife
justme- Newbie
- Number of posts : 41
Registration date : 2015-11-04
I'm not made for this world and its never going to get better as it has never been better..
ameliorate- Member
Number of posts : 3603
Age : 74
Location : London, UK
Job/hobbies : Full-time person! Cooking, creating things
Registration date : 2012-02-15
I do recall reading that you said you had borderline personality disorder and that you take medication for your hallucinations.justme wrote:I'm insane so according to the article if "in a fit of insanity" the person commits suicide they won't have to suffer in the afterlife
Is there a support group for your condition?
There must be some things that you enjoy about being alive. Maybe you could focus on them more and/or what inspires you.
justme- Newbie
- Number of posts : 41
Registration date : 2015-11-04
Nothing helps the groups don't help.. I'm sorry to you two. I'll leave this alone.
ameliorate- Member
Number of posts : 3603
Age : 74
Location : London, UK
Job/hobbies : Full-time person! Cooking, creating things
Registration date : 2012-02-15
I'm sorry to hear that the groups don't help. Often there is some relief to be got by sharing with like minded peoplejustme wrote:Nothing helps the groups don't help.. I'm sorry to you two. I'll leave this alone.
and support. Nevertheless it will be beneficial to look at what IS working for you in your life....it is easy to overlook
so much when focusing on negativity. Try and give this some thought...i.e. don't automatically dismiss it.
I send you my love ♥
Bodhicitta- Member
Number of posts : 101
Location : California
Job/hobbies : Retired
Registration date : 2016-02-03
justme wrote:I'm insane so according to the article if "in a fit of insanity" the person commits suicide they won't have to suffer in the afterlife
If you have been thinking about suicide for some time, that is hardly a suddenly arising 'fit'. So a planned killing of self is not a sign of insanity.
I know the after-death state of a suicide is bad because all great teachers know it is so and have warned against it.
Here is the Sage William Q. Judge outlining the effect of suicide in his article "Suicide is not Death":
William Q Judge wrote:Suicide, like any other murder is a sin because it is a sudden disturbance of the harmony of the world. It is a sin because it defeats nature. Nature exists for the sake of the soul and for no other reason, it has the design, so to say, of giving the soul experience and self-consciousness. These can only be had by means of a body through which the soul comes in contact with nature, and to violently sever the connection before the natural time defeats the aim of nature, for the present compelling her, by her own slow processes, to restore the task left unfinished. And as those processes must go on through the soul that permitted the murder, more pain and suffering must follow.And the disturbance of the general harmony is a greater sin than most men think. They consider themselves alone, as separate, as not connected with others. But they are connected throughout the whole world with all other souls and minds. A subtle, actual, powerful band links them all together, and the instant one of all these millions disturbs the link the whole mass feels it by reaction through soul and mind, and can only return to a normal state through a painful adjustment. This adjustment is on the unseen, but all-important, planes of being in which the real man exists. Thus each murderer of self or of another imposes on entire humanity an unjustifiable burden. From this injustice he cannot escape, for his body's death does not cut him off from the rest; it only places him, deprived of nature's instruments, in the clutch of laws that are powerful and implacable, ceaseless in their operation and compulsory in their demands.Suicide is a huge folly, because it places the committer of it in an infinitely worse position than he was in under the conditions from which he foolishly hoped to escape. It is not death. It is only a leaving of one well-known house in familiar surroundings to go into a new place where terror and despair alone have place. It is but a preliminary death done to the clay, which is put in the "cold embrace of the grave," leaving the man himself naked and alive, but out of mortal life and not in either heaven or hell.
justme- Newbie
- Number of posts : 41
Registration date : 2015-11-04
Um... Thank you bodhi for clarifying that. I guess I was worried that I will end up more insane than I am already and will end up doing it because I was feeling so hurt and fragile and I almost feel possessed by demonic entities. Thoughts come into my mind that are intrusive and I wish it wasn't so but more often than not these thoughts are horrible ugly thoughts and it leads to pain in the heart which is felt deeply which leads to thinking suicide is the way out of this. I really wish my life was not so hard. Harder than most peoples and I could say why I see it that way but I won't complain too much. I'm sorry for disturbing you who have read this. I am truly in a dark place sometimes I look through my eyes at the world and see nothing. Like no future, no potential positive happy experiences to be had, just nothing and it hurts in the heart. There are too many situations that hurt me right in the heart.
justme- Newbie
- Number of posts : 41
Registration date : 2015-11-04
How can a clinically insane person have a fit of insanity.... That I can't wrap my head around.
Bodhicitta- Member
Number of posts : 101
Location : California
Job/hobbies : Retired
Registration date : 2016-02-03
justme wrote:Um... Thank you bodhi for clarifying that. I guess I was worried that I will end up more insane than I am already and will end up doing it because I was feeling so hurt and fragile and I almost feel possessed by demonic entities. Thoughts come into my mind that are intrusive and I wish it wasn't so but more often than not these thoughts are horrible ugly thoughts and it leads to pain in the heart which is felt deeply which leads to thinking suicide is the way out of this. I really wish my life was not so hard. Harder than most peoples and I could say why I see it that way but I won't complain too much. I'm sorry for disturbing you who have read this. I am truly in a dark place sometimes I look through my eyes at the world and see nothing. Like no future, no potential positive happy experiences to be had, just nothing and it hurts in the heart. There are too many situations that hurt me right in the heart.
Buddha and his bodhisattvas will help you, if you put some attention toward them. Try saying quietly or inwardly or out loud OM MANI PADME HUM as often as you can. This mantra connects you to Kuan Yin bodhisattva (also known as Lord of the World) who has helped people in duress for hundreds of years.
I recall some years ago a demon was chasing me and I dashed up some stairs, but he was closing in and about to get me. So I called out OM MANI PADME HUM a few times. From the top of the stairs a light shone down and past me, I turned around to look and the demon stopped in his tracks, turned away and disappeared.
Blueanchor- Member
- Number of posts : 1189
Registration date : 2015-08-26
justme wrote:How can a clinically insane person have a fit of insanity.... That I can't wrap my head around.
If the article doesn't resonate with you, then let it go.
But in an earlier post you asked whether anyone actually knows if it's real - and the answer is that nobody does really know. But similarly, you don't know what's around the corner, you don't know what the rest of your life might bring.
What you do know, is that suicide doesn't change the past - the past will always be there, but it won't necessarily happen again.
Suicide is about trying to avoid the future, not healing the hurt from the past.
ameliorate- Member
Number of posts : 3603
Age : 74
Location : London, UK
Job/hobbies : Full-time person! Cooking, creating things
Registration date : 2012-02-15
I would suggest that the reason you look at the world and see nothing is that you are quite likely to be profoundly depressed!justme wrote:Um... Thank you bodhi for clarifying that. I guess I was worried that I will end up more insane than I am already and will end up doing it because I was feeling so hurt and fragile and I almost feel possessed by demonic entities. Thoughts come into my mind that are intrusive and I wish it wasn't so but more often than not these thoughts are horrible ugly thoughts and it leads to pain in the heart which is felt deeply which leads to thinking suicide is the way out of this. I really wish my life was not so hard. Harder than most peoples and I could say why I see it that way but I won't complain too much. I'm sorry for disturbing you who have read this. I am truly in a dark place sometimes I look through my eyes at the world and see nothing. Like no future, no potential positive happy experiences to be had, just nothing and it hurts in the heart. There are too many situations that hurt me right in the heart.
This can numb your senses. Have you thought about consulting your GP?
Also, please check out this section for protection
http://www.spiritualinspiration.org/f25-cleansing-grounding-protection
Auras- Member
Number of posts : 2027
Age : 25
Location : United Kingdom, Liverpool.
Registration date : 2012-05-06
justme wrote:I feel like I'm headed down a one way street to following her. What the hell is wrong with me?
Nothing is wrong with you, Your human.
Think about this, think about how the people close to you, how would they feel if you actually commited suicide? Would you really want them to have the problems your facing now on there hands? Would you want to put them through all the heart ache?
DeniseMed2- Newbie
Number of posts : 14
Location : West Midlands
Job/hobbies : Science, Crystals Healing, Paranormal
Registration date : 2017-09-14
There is nothing wrong with you, you are in dark place at the moment and your grief is overwhelming according to your posts 
but I wonder why do you think you are clinically insane ? Not one psychiatrist would call you clinically insane either !
There are many patients who I have worked with over many years that have loved and lost ! And if you are willing, you need grief counselling start with your GP
You need to go through your grieving process but you can reach out for help. It is very easy to commit suicide but harder to live.
And when you feel ready, our emotions can block out spiritual connections, ask your twinflame why she committed suicide, this will happen through a medium to see if they can provide answers. I am so sorry for your loss, your journey into the spirit world is not an easy road for you to travel but if you are willing to give life a chance you may be surprised at what your life holds. I wish you well. x
but I wonder why do you think you are clinically insane ? Not one psychiatrist would call you clinically insane either !There are many patients who I have worked with over many years that have loved and lost ! And if you are willing, you need grief counselling start with your GP
You need to go through your grieving process but you can reach out for help. It is very easy to commit suicide but harder to live.
And when you feel ready, our emotions can block out spiritual connections, ask your twinflame why she committed suicide, this will happen through a medium to see if they can provide answers. I am so sorry for your loss, your journey into the spirit world is not an easy road for you to travel but if you are willing to give life a chance you may be surprised at what your life holds. I wish you well. x
Heightend-Awareness- Member
Number of posts : 454
Age : 55
Location : Central Coast, Great Southern Land
Job/hobbies : Self-Employed, learning anything outside the box.
Registration date : 2020-10-18
This is sad.justme wrote:I feel like I'm headed down a one way street to following her. What the hell is wrong with me?
For anyone who has been in this situation contemplating suicide. It is simply not worth it. I speak from experience.
As a young man, I was very angry & aggressive. Anyone who looked at me (mainly males) I would snap at. I was looking for trouble everywhere. When I had to drive anywhere I was insane behind the wheel. Most times my wife insisted she'd drive. I was constantly looking for a way out. A way out of this life. We had just had our first son born a year prior. Which didn't help my wife.
It may have had to do with PTSD or similar. Life was a huge roller coaster for me then. Things in life were out of line, out of place. I was in a dark place in my life.
This was happening prior to my stroke at 36. It had struck me down. I rehabilitated myself with very little help from the medicos. At one point I got pneumonia and had an interesting experience one night. This experience had changed my whole perspective on everything on every level. It changed the person who I was to the person I am today.
The moral of my story is that life will be difficult and challenging most of the time, that's the thing. for us to grow spiritually and develop ourselves to be better than we were the day before, we must endure and overcome the hurdles and obstacles that challenge us in our lives. My understanding of how it all works in a very summarised version, is that we are given life in the physical world to experience the human condition. That being the 'roller coaster'. The more life throws at us and we accept and overcome these challenges, the easier the next life will be because of the lessons and experience gained from the past one. If you were to quit the 'game' of life prematurely, all you're doing is taking a step back into your spiritual growth and advancement.
As the old saying goes, "What doesn't kill us, only makes us stronger and wiser."
Peace & Love
Last edited by Heightend-Awareness on Mon Oct 19, 2020 7:43 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : spelling and gramma)
Elfin- Member
- Number of posts : 208
Registration date : 2020-10-16
This really is sad.... Thank you H.A for your sharing your experience.... I think we can all resonate with the words "There but for the Grace of God go I ...".....
mac- Member
Number of posts : 4147
Age : 77
Location : Heart of England
Job/hobbies : retired
Registration date : 2010-04-23
Member justme was last around in 2016 and we can only hope he found the help he needed.
Forum 'advice' is of little value other than to encourage sufferers to seek professional help. You can tell someone that spiritually it's a bad idea but those contemplating suicide aren't usually here to consult about their spiritual progress. Their needs are immediate and need to be addressed face-to-face, regularly and likely for quite a long time.
Forum 'advice' is of little value other than to encourage sufferers to seek professional help. You can tell someone that spiritually it's a bad idea but those contemplating suicide aren't usually here to consult about their spiritual progress. Their needs are immediate and need to be addressed face-to-face, regularly and likely for quite a long time.
Heightend-Awareness- Member
Number of posts : 454
Age : 55
Location : Central Coast, Great Southern Land
Job/hobbies : Self-Employed, learning anything outside the box.
Registration date : 2020-10-18
Odd.. if they are here on a spiritual forum we can only give spiritual advice. If they seek professional academic advice unless there are members who are professionals. Then this place is not where to find professional help they then need. IMO.mac wrote:Member justme was last around in 2016 and we can only hope he found the help he needed.
Forum 'advice' is of little value other than to encourage sufferers to seek professional help. You can tell someone that spiritually it's a bad idea but those contemplating suicide aren't usually here to consult about their spiritual progress. Their needs are immediate and need to be addressed face-to-face, regularly and likely for quite a long time.
Last edited by Heightend-Awareness on Mon Oct 19, 2020 9:52 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : spelling)
mac- Member
Number of posts : 4147
Age : 77
Location : Heart of England
Job/hobbies : retired
Registration date : 2010-04-23
Heightend-Awareness wrote:Odd.. if they are here on a spiritual forum we can only give spiritual advice.mac wrote:Member justme was last around in 2016 and we can only hope he found the help he needed.
Forum 'advice' is of little value other than to encourage sufferers to seek professional help. You can tell someone that spiritually it's a bad idea but those contemplating suicide aren't usually here to consult about their spiritual progress. Their needs are immediate and need to be addressed face-to-face, regularly and likely for quite a long time.
Anybody here can offer help on any subject. Whether that's truly advice depends on a number of criteria in my book.
If they seek professional academic advice unless there are members who are professionals. Then this place is not where to find professional help they then need. IMO.
quite so - If someone were to want professional academic advice they'd do best to seek out professional academicians with the necessary skills and experience. Whether they'd find it here is moot.
Heightend-Awareness- Member
Number of posts : 454
Age : 55
Location : Central Coast, Great Southern Land
Job/hobbies : Self-Employed, learning anything outside the box.
Registration date : 2020-10-18
What!?mac wrote:Heightend-Awareness wrote:Odd.. if they are here on a spiritual forum we can only give spiritual advice.mac wrote:Member justme was last around in 2016 and we can only hope he found the help he needed.
Forum 'advice' is of little value other than to encourage sufferers to seek professional help. You can tell someone that spiritually it's a bad idea but those contemplating suicide aren't usually here to consult about their spiritual progress. Their needs are immediate and need to be addressed face-to-face, regularly and likely for quite a long time.
Anybody here can offer help on any subject. Whether that's truly advice depends on a number of criteria in my book.
If they seek professional academic advice unless there are members who are professionals. Then this place is not where to find professional help they then need. IMO.
quite so - If someone were to want professional academic advice they'd do best to seek out professional academicians with the necessary skills and experience. Whether they'd find it here is moot.
Do we actually agree on something Bobjob, I mean mac?
