I don't know much..

about these subjects to be honest but i'm sure others will be able to begin some interesting discussions in this section.
However I do believe my partner is my 'soulmate' and by that I mean I knew the first time I met him he was the one and he is everything, best friend the lot, but that is just my definition of a soulmate.

The topic made me chuckle, as I was gonna say. You know some things... Give yourself more credit...


This topic can make me agitated... I think the term soul mate/ twin flame get's thrown around way to much.. And what makes it worse in Spirituality. Is that many like to use this "twin flame" as an excuse to cheat on their significant others... Because they felt no love like this before..

Lol your feelings about this are similar to my thoughts on indigo's etc which imo is used far too often as a mask for conditions or an excuse for bad behaviour, oooops i'm off topic already

I guess it's one of the aspects of the mind, and ego, that we need to label everything so we can relate to it. Or try and make it better.

Now, I'm not saying your perfect mate is not out there.. What I am saying is make every relationship a twin flame relationship. Both parties... Yea, you may not have everything in common with your spouse boyfriend. That is ok.. That's what makes each of us unique.. Just cause you find someone that does have things in common with you does not make them your perfect match as well.

I can not repeat this enough times. The grass is NOT greener on the other side.

That is so true Innerlight.
We don't have much in common but it works, understanding each other is far more important imo in a relationship. And if you're looking for perfection you aren't going to find it but I find accepting those imperfections and loving them regardless is what makes it 'perfect.'

And that is the basis for unconditional love... Which is why so many people think they should leave each other for these twin flames/ soul mates... Because they have more in common, which means it's true love.. And what ever other phrase you want to say to make each other happy... Or their relationship is on the rocks, and they think we this wasn't the right relationship because this new guy is perfect... Of course he is.. You're not dating each other... Every think you are thinking about this new guy is exactly what you felt when you first met your match now.. Things are perfect, you've never met a love like this... Months, years, later. Your are saying the same thing about Jerry at the bakery.

I feel that the term soulmate is over used in many cases as is twinflame. What many people fail to realise is that you can have more than one soulmate and it is not neccessarily someoene of the opposite sex. It can be a close friend that you just "click" with.
How many people go through life looking for that elusive soulmate and end up overlooking a person who could make them happy but with opposite likes and dislikes?
We all want that "perfect" relationship with someone, but as it is not a perfect world, this can be very hard to have.
And I agree with you Innerlight that the grass is not always greener on the other side, it also takes two to make a relationship work, and that "soulmate" that you are looking for could be right under your nose.

astralphoenix wrote:I feel that the term soulmate is over used in many cases as is twinflame. What many people fail to realise is that you can have more than one soulmate and it is not neccessarily someoene of the opposite sex. It can be a close friend that you just "click" with.
How many people go through life looking for that elusive soulmate and end up overlooking a person who could make them happy but with opposite likes and dislikes?
We all want that "perfect" relationship with someone, but as it is not a perfect world, this can be very hard to have.
And I agree with you Innerlight that the grass is not always greener on the other side, it also takes two to make a relationship work, and that "soulmate" that you are looking for could be right under your nose.

I agree with all of this, not just because you said my name... That does help. I have always said if one spends their whole life looking for this perfect mate they can miss the beauty of a great relationship that is right under their "proverbial noses"

I also agree that soul mate can be anyone... It's usually anyone that comes into your life to teach you any type of lesson. Good or bad.

Both of your posts are right on the nail imo, and you can have more than one soul mate and it doesn't necessarily have to be a full on sexual relationship either, true love goes much deeper than that, too many people mix up lust and love don't they

I agree 100% that it can be someone who comes in your life to help you learn a lesson, whether good or bad results come from that lesson. A soulmate can also include a parent, sibling or offspring. How many parents have a really close bond with their child/children? They talk about everything to each other, support emotionally, mentally and spiritually, but still allow them to lead their lives independantly without interferences or demands on thier time.

astralphoenix wrote:I agree 100% that it can be someone who comes in your life to help you learn a lesson, whether good or bad results come from that lesson. A soulmate can also include a parent, sibling or offspring. How many parents have a really close bond with their child/children? They talk about everything to each other, support emotionally, mentally and spiritually, but still allow them to lead their lives independantly without interferences or demands on thier time.

Now that's got me thinking, i'm very close to my kids but I wouldn't ever consider them to be 'soul mates' (in my limited understanding of soulmates)as there are parts of me they don't need to know about and the same with them now they're grown up. I think the parent child thing may get in the way a little bit too though I love them more than anything, it's not the love thing I mean ....I don't know if i'm explaining well

Usually it's more commonly known as soul family... And stretches into the realms of reincarnation that you shy against. Sometimes a son, can be a husband in a prior life, a brother in another one.. All coming back together to learn their lessons. Can you not learn lessons from your family?


Though with me.. I don't feel like I really fit in with my family.. Like I'm the one odd ball out.

I've felt like that all my life, the odd one out.
You can learn lots of lessons from your family that's certainly true, but not all lessons are learned from soulmates, in fact the most important lessons are probably learned from the people we don't love at all

I understand you perfectly well! the point I was trying to make with family, was that sometimes you see mother and daughter who are best friends, they dont come across as parent/offspring.
And yes Innerlight there is the soul family group too which is part of your bigger soul group. You may not feel like you fit in with your family, but you did choose this family before incarnating, because of lessons, experiences and possible karmic ties, that your soul wanted/needed to learn in order to grow on a spiritual level. Hope this makes sense as many people having trouble digesting this.

I fully agree Violet that sometimes the best lessons are learnt from people that we dislike or clash with. Perhaps it is to help us understand our own fears and faults.

Yeah I think you're right there as some of what we see in others who behave in what we consider to be a bad way we can recognise in ourselves which can be quite shocking at times

Violet wrote:I've felt like that all my life, the odd one out.
You can learn lots of lessons from your family that's certainly true, but not all lessons are learned from soulmates, in fact the most important lessons are probably learned from the people we don't love at all

Yes, but you're of the understanding that you have to love your soulmate.

astralphoenix wrote:I understand you perfectly well! the point I was trying to make with family, was that sometimes you see mother and daughter who are best friends, they dont come across as parent/offspring.
And yes Innerlight there is the soul family group too which is part of your bigger soul group. You may not feel like you fit in with your family, but you did choose this family before incarnating, because of lessons, experiences and possible karmic ties, that your soul wanted/needed to learn in order to grow on a spiritual level. Hope this makes sense as many people having trouble digesting this.

I understand that there are certain reasons people pick their family.. Things to learn from.. Karmic reasons.. Etc... Things to teach...

astralphoenix wrote:I understand you perfectly well! the point I was trying to make with family, was that sometimes you see mother and daughter who are best friends, they dont come across as parent/offspring.
And yes Innerlight there is the soul family group too which is part of your bigger soul group. You may not feel like you fit in with your family, but you did choose this family before incarnating, because of lessons, experiences and possible karmic ties, that your soul wanted/needed to learn in order to grow on a spiritual level. Hope this makes sense as many people having trouble digesting this.

I must have missed this post earlier, and I definately understand you now, the mother /daughter seeming to be best frends rather than mother daughter

innerlight wrote:

Violet wrote:I've felt like that all my life, the odd one out.
You can learn lots of lessons from your family that's certainly true, but not all lessons are learned from soulmates, in fact the most important lessons are probably learned from the people we don't love at all

Yes, but you're of the understanding that you have to love your soulmate.

How would they be a soulmate without love?

Because one would only be dealing with the love of the earth plane.. The person you don't love is a person you don't love on earth... When on a soul level you can, and probably do, feel differently.

But i'm inclined to believe that we don't change much when we cross over, we don't become all forgiving and saintly which is why you get 'good' and 'bad' spirits, I think you do see the bigger picture but that doesn't necessarily make you more open and loving, just my opinion

A soulmate to me is someone that I `click` with on a certain lvl. More then "just a friend" (If there is such a thing) but not neccisarily a lover either.

Now how do I explain....


Someone who, without having known you for years or needing mayor empathy, understands what you are not saying,who will take your hand, just as your reaching for his/hers, ho knows that you need them, without you telling them, or even seeing them, who can talk to you for hours on end, or just sit with you comfterbly for hours, someone who knows your faults and won't judge you for them, but will help you laugh of the mistakes you make because of them and many other things. And, ofcourse, the same goes the other way around.

You can have friends and family I have known for years, sometimes even from birth that you don't have this "click" with.

I am fortunate enough to have a few friends that I do have that "click" with. And funnily with my mum, which is fortunate.

For me its not something that has a definite outline, its a recognition, in the eyes, sometimes in a voice...

Hope this helps...





Gwen

Hi Gwen I agree with all of that and I definately agree with the recognition thing as that happened the minute I met my partner, i've only known it a couple of other times with other people

Violet wrote:But i'm inclined to believe that we don't change much when we cross over, we don't become all forgiving and saintly which is why you get 'good' and 'bad' spirits, I think you do see the bigger picture but that doesn't necessarily make you more open and loving, just my opinion

Yes, you won't automatically become enlightened and gain the secrets to all the world.. For your mind would still be some of the one you had when you left.. If you are God fearing and think he will smite you. You would probably still leave this world with those fears, and probably not even cross over, but get stuck between worlds.

Only when you learn will you know more.. Even in spirit we still learn. What I am saying is just because you hate someone doesn't mean you truly hate them. If I know you in spirit and know you are coming down and you want to learn about love... And to truly learn love you may have to learn hate.. So it will take someone to teach you hate to learn about it.. So I volunteer to come down and teach you hate. After life you may find out that we have known each other for ages, and you will can't get rid of me.

You will just know you didn't hate me in general. Just the opinions you made of me from this life we had together to learn a lesson.